Daily Journey Moment: June 27, 2025

    Today is June 27, 2025. I have officially hit rock bottom. I just so fucking pissed with myself. I hate it. So, much is going wrong right now. But I'm grateful. Cause I know it can be a lot worse than what it is now. Let's break this down.

     I have to either choose between my job or a place to stay. I was staying in a motel with my two daughters, and they wrack ass daddy. We goanna go into that later. It cost $385 to stay at this moody ass motel. I already been living in a motel for a month. It's too much to do on my own. While a grown ass man lay in the bed all day. 

Becoming Mom: A Love Story in Chapters Vol. 1

    Wow! Me becoming a mom, sound crazy. I love kids, well use too. I always had kids with me growing up. Coming from a big family, I was always babysitting. After that I always said, I don't' want kids. I'm good with being a cool, fun, drop by auntie. And I thought that for a long time. 

I started to date this guy name Mike (made up name). We dated for 2 years. Of course, we had unprotected sex. I didn't get pregnant. We break up. 

Fast forward, to me meeting my baby daddy Zion 2019 (made up name). We talked, hang out, you the deal. I got pregnant in 2021. Had my first daughter August of 2022. A year after that, my youngest, and last daughter was born December 2023. 

I had a lot of health problems, with both my pregnancy. And plus, I can't deal with all these kids. It was different when the kids weren't mine. I can send they ass home. These kids are mine. I can't send them back to their daddy nut stack. LOL. 

What Is Family??

    Everybody knows the saying, "Blood is thicken then water," right? If you don't or if you do; that shit don't mean anything, well to me at least. Let me tell you why. 

    I come from a big family. My mama and daddy had 8 kids together. My dad comes from a big family too, 9 plus kids. My mama came from a family of 5. We were always deep with people. Growing up, we always had other family members living with us too. So, we always had family around. 

    Nowadays, we barely see each other, don't even have family gatherings. Aye, I don't mind. I can't be around people that don't want me around or that talk about me. Hell, me and my own sisters don't even talk. I would love to have a close relationship with my family, but I am fortunate, not to have one. 

    As I get older, I realize I don't want that close relationship with anyone. It's too much work. Everybody is different; meaning they think different, they act different, because they are different. That's fine with me. Maybe they don't want to be close. Maybe they are too busy. Whatever the case maybe. 

    I am working on being okay, with not being close to my family. If that makes sense. I have to learn how to be my new family, new circle, sometimes that make not include family. Sometimes, that means, it's just YOU, and your kids.

Here We Go!!! To The Post!!

 Hey, everybody!

Thank you so much for coming! 

    I am starting this blog for the fun of it, and to keep my mind intact. It's really going to be my new journals for now on. Of course, it's going to be about things I think about, things I go though, dealing with my baby daddy, my family, stories, EVERYTHING I'm thinking about.   

    I love writing. I starting really getting into writing when I was in middle school. I used to write about everything. I started to keep up with writing in my journals, that I have more then 10 notebooks of me writing. I even type some out, I wrote about me being sick in the doctor office, and still writing about the pain, on napkins. I know it's been more then 17 years since my first entry. 

    Fast forward, to today I can beardly wrote a paragraph. I have a lot going on. But let's be real, everybody always has something going. It's called having a LIFE. Nothing to feel bad, or sad about. You can sleep when you are dead. Get out here and have fun. 

    Now me on the other hand, I wasn't out here. I wasn't out here with boys, or friends. I was a homebody preteen, and teenage. I was always at home. But that's a meaning and reason behind that. We will get into that later. When I finally did go out. I was 22 or 23 years old, and for the first time I went out clubbing. Then started to go out a little more, started dating, now I have 2 kids. However, I can't blame that on why I chose not to write. That's on me, and for another time.

    I promise myself to start writing more, even if it's a little bit. Try and keep my mind at ease and peace. Anything that will help a little. So, to my first post, it's a start. Thank you all for reading. Stay tune more to come.